American Idol...The Guys

Pretend I'm writing this last night. I did write most of it last night as I watched. But I was so disappointed when the show was over that I felt more like studying poetry by John Milton than talking about the AI guys that I thought were going to WOW me..but didn't. I'm in a better mood now...but not because of American Idol. You can be sure of that.

Patrick Hall Man, if you're first out of the gate, you've got to bust it. And he didn't. I think he's got a clean cut sex appeal. It wasn't his best performance tonight but I know that he is an entertainer. I say give him another chance.

David Radford His frickin' face is going to break. He does what he does okay which is really cheesy impersonations of other performers. Some people might like his style but not me. Yeah...I'm sitting here thinking...this is a joke, isn't it? I'm going to wake up from this nightmare and he's going to really perform.

I haven't been impressed yet.

Bucky Covington...I am so freaking disappointed. Now you know I can love me up some Southern rock but this guy is no Bo Bice. (Okay..that's not fair because who is?) But really I'd appreciate it if people don't screw up Skynyrd. Geesh. I'm sure he's a really nice guy. But no man...no.

Still not impressed.

Will Makar When I heard he was going to sing, "I Want You Back" by oh, freaking gosh...The Jackson Five, I braced myself. Okay...I'm surprised. A little surprised. Not thrilled...not blown away. At least he made it his own. Thank God because I really didn't want to think about Michael Jackson. That's just gross. Why would you do a Michael Jackson song? Jackson Five...whatever. Why?

Sway Penala Geeze, Louise. Choo Choo says it was hot. Okay? I think he looks like a pimp and sounds...uh, I don't even know. Icky.

Okay...I don't want to be mean to a puppet...but I'm not in a very good mood now. Kermit is so yesterday. The Geico gecko is so much cooler. But no gecko tonight...it's a crappy night on Fox tonight. Even the commercials stink.

Chris Daughtry Thank you, God. Wanted Dead or Alive...Yeah Baby. Damn! He's sexy! I love long hair on guys...but that's the sexiest bald head I've ever seen.

Kevin Covais Now, that's a hundred pounds of nerves. Monkey decided to say his prayers during this song. So we had to mute the sound. Bless his little heart. (Kevin's) He is a cutie bug. (Kevin) In a little boy sort of way. All the girls love him. Probably cause he seem so fragile. I can't hurt his feelings. That witch, Brenna, probably could, though.

Gedeon McKinney Oh, I guess you could call him "fun" or something. I don't know. Nothing to shout home about. Simon is cranky tonight. Did Ryan just tell Simon to shhhhhhh? How cool is that? You go, Ryan. Fight! Fight! (Oh, sorry...I forgot where I was.) Gedeon, Honey...don't stop smiling.

Elliott Yamin He did Stevie Wonder well. I wonder what Elliott sounds like? Wow...Did I just hear Simon right? I guess it sounds different in person.

Bobby Bennett Oh, gosh. Is this for real? Surely, I fell asleep and back into that nightmare I was having earlier. Let me guess what Simon is going to say..."it sounded like you were in any sleazy bar in Vegas." (Randy mentioned Vegas. Yeah, Simon mentioned Vegas, too.) I'm thinking this is a big joke.

You go, Ryan. Oh, Simon. Geesh...let's get it on.

Ace Young I didn't have faith in his choice of song. But oh, yeah! It's not a song with a lot of energy but I'm feeling it anyway. He's got it going on...and he can really sing. Oh, gosh. I think I'm in love.

Like Heather Locklear really goes to Walmart and buys a box of hair color. Yeah, right. That's so believeable.

Taylor Hicks This guy is adorable. He's got so much charm and personality. He's not the typical American Idol. He's better because he's so unique to the show. He's so funny! I swear if Simon says something bad about him...I'll come through the tv. I love him but for completely different reasons than I love Chris and Ace.

My "stay" list is shorter than my "go" list so...I say we have a show as long as Ace, Chris, and Taylor stays. Patrick can have a second chance. Other than that, I don't care about anyone else.

Okay...just in case yall are all bummed out with this depressing post...(Actually, it bummed me out, too.)...go to the next post. My Thursday Thirteen is a little brighter.